by Beth Keating
Review/Commentary
DisneyBizJournal.com
September 28, 2019
Disney’s Hollywood Studios as the best of the four theme parks in Walt Disney World? Ummm, no. Contrary to what was posted earlier this week by the chief prognosticator of this website (see “7 Reasons Hollywood Studios Ranks Best Among Walt Disney World Parks” by Ray Keating), Disney’s Hollywood Studios doesn’t take the top spot. Galaxy’s Edge may be the hot new commodity drawing visitors to the park (although most days, a visit to Andy’s backyard in Toy Story Land is still king, with longer wait times for Slinky Dog than a visit to outer space), but there’s more to the Studios than the citizens of Batuu.
Here are a few reasons that make Hollywood Studios a lower priority in my book.
1) Thrill Ride Heaven. Unless you’re a thrill-ride seeker, Hollywood Studios offers few rides for those not looking to spill their lunch. As a motion-sickness prone guest, I’m not going anywhere near Tower of Terror or Rock ‘n Roller Coaster. Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run was a one-and-done for me, and I got tricked onto Star Tours twice by a youngling who wouldn’t ride without me. (I don’t blame him – Rex was a terrible pilot.) My son is an upper-teen now and doesn’t need my chaperone skills. So, Bon Voyage C-3PO - Watch out for the storm troopers, and have a nice flight. Even Slinky Dog makes my stomach bounce, and Alien Swirling Saucers makes my head spin. That leaves me with Toy Story Midway Mania. Which I adore. And rode four times last trip. By myself. While they were riding the big thrillers.
2) Too much sitting. See item #1. If you aren’t doing the thrill rides, the rest of the park is just too much sitting. Voyage of the Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast - Live on Stage, Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular, and Muppet Vision 3-D are all fabulous shows, and I would miss them terribly if they were gone, but it is a lot of time spent sitting in a theater in one day. On the last trip, I saw For the First Time in Forever: A Frozen Sing-Along three times in one day because it was inside and air-conditioned while I was waiting for the rest of the thrill-ride seekers to use their FastPasses. (I also thought it was a funny show, and slightly different each time, so I didn’t mind too much.) Plus, it fit the schedule.
3) Timing. See item #2. If I am relegated primarily to stage shows, it makes my day a lot tougher to schedule, since I am now on Disney’s clock, rather than mine. Many of the shows operate according to precise schedules, and you can’t just wander up to a turnstile when you darn well please. I actually left the park at one point on a particularly hot day to go throw in a load of laundry back at the resort, and met up with the family later. How weird was that?
4) Stupid Tier System. Hollywood Studios’ new Tier System, which took effect the same day Galaxy’s Edge opened on August 29th, makes it hard to get FastPasses for the big attractions. All of the rides except Star Tours are now Tier 1 (meaning that you effectively only get one Tier 1 per day, since you can only choose one of the rides from Tier 1 as one of your day’s three FastPass selections). Sure, you can squander FastPasses on shows that you don’t really need FastPasses for anyway because they hold large capacity crowds, just so you can get to that sweet spot where you can get a fourth FastPass after you’ve used the first three, but by then there are no FastPass slots open for the big attractions. Maybe by some stroke of luck someone gave up their FastPass, and you refreshed your My Disney Experience App several dozen times, did the hokey pokey and turned yourself around while facing southeast on the third Tuesday of the month, and were granted an extra FastPass by the FastPass gods, who just happened to be in a giving mood. Maybe then you had FastPasses for Tower of Terror and Slinky Dog on the same day. Consider yourself fortunate. If not, well, at least the queue lines are well-themed and interesting. We had to spread it out over several days. Hurray for Park Hopper!
5) Closed Attractions. While Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge is an exciting new venue (it should really have been made into a fifth gate!) and totally immersive and stunningly designed, I still miss the attractions that have left our planet. Catastrophe Canyon was so much fun, and I inexplicably miss both the Hunchback of Notre Dame stage show and Bear in the Big Blue House (those were the days with my sweet little toddlers!) The falling confetti and streamers from Hunchback’s Feast of Fools scene was a thrill, and I even have a few pieces of the streamers in my scrapbook. And while the Lights! Motors! Action! Extreme Stunt show was ungodly hot all the time, it really fit with the theme of seeing inside the movie-making magic. Right now, the Chinese Theater also stands silent. I miss The Great Movie Ride immensely. It was one of my favorite attractions of all time. No doubt I will love Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway when it eventually opens, but right now, there’s a big ole hole in the center of the park. They tried to hide it behind a Star Wars stage, but it didn’t work. Oh, I did try to watch the Star Wars: A Galaxy Far, Far Away live action stage show several times, but never made it all the way through. Standing directly in the mid-day sun while the Star Wars characters paraded out on stage with some movie clips and a few fireworks effects behind them didn’t make up for the loss of John Wayne and the Yellow Brick Road.
6) Magic of the Movies Process. Don’t get me wrong. I love the immersive quality of Batuu (especially at night, when it becomes particularly captivating), and was even willing to rope drop at 5:45 in the morning to be there before the larger crowds. But I miss the days of Disney-MGM Studios, when we got to see the water effects tank, the costume departments, and the movie props on the Backlot Tour. I even miss walking past the working artists on the tours, seeing them sketching upcoming movie scenes. Visiting Batuu may make you feel like you are a character in the movie, but the old backstage tours were an interesting look at how the movies were actually made.
7) Osborn Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights. Don’t. Get. Me. Started. This is one of the things that I truly miss about this park. It is one of the most magical memories I have of the holidays at Disney. Oh, the amazing feeling of watching my then-four-year-old absolutely dazzled by the lights, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. I have the 3-D glasses tucked away that turned the streetlights into Christmas angels. As much as I liked Cars, Lightning McQueen’s Racing Academy just doesn’t have the same pizzazz as the millions of dancing lights and all the hot chocolate you could drink.
So, what would I rank as #1? Interesting question. Let me think about that for a while. I’ll get back to you tomorrow. Right now, I’ve got a debate to finish.
Beth Keating is a regular contributor to DisneyBizJournal.
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